Aurors
by honeymooninmetropolis
Summary: Barbie's are for young girls, right? Wrong! Harry and Ron break boundaries in child's play.
1. Chapter 1

**An idea struck me and Gayle as we talked about **_**another **_**fan fiction idea I had. Three other stories to accompany this one. **

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Barbie, I own nothing! Apart from that dinner lady …**

**This is my first story EVER (ever) on fanfiction . net. I hope I don't suck too badly.**

Ron Weasley woke up at 6.45am on a Wednesday morning, showered quickly and dressed. He was welcomed down the stairs by his loving wife, Luna, and some breakfast. After inhaling the contents of the plate, he kissed Luna on the cheek and left for work.

Ron arrived at the Auror department at exactly 8 o'clock, right on time. He sat down at his desk and worked on overdue paperwork for the majority of the morning. Being an Auror was hard work; you had to write detailed reports on every call-out that you've ever had to attend to, you have to actually _attend _the call-outs, you have to deal with unlawful criminals who are ruining your lunch break - it was hectic! Fortunately for Ron, he enjoyed this. He remembered Auror training, with Harry. Those were silly, silly days …

"_Hey, Ron! Did you get a letter this morning?" Harry asked Ron, who was helping himself to Harry's breakfast._

"_I don't know …" Ron said, while chewing on some bacon, "I'll go check."_

_A couple of hours later, Harry walked by Ron's bedroom. Harry, Ron and Hermione were all sharing a small house on the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole._

"_Ron, what are you doing?" Harry asked, poking his head around the door._

"_I'm opening my mail," Ron replied. He was sitting amidst piles of letters and envelopes._

"_How much mail do you get, mate?" Harry asked, picking up an unopened envelope._

"_Well, it's not often I open my mail," Ron said, "I don't really have time."_

"_What do you mean you don't have time?" Harry asked, incredulously. "Are you telling me that you haven't opened your mail since," he paused to look at the dated letter in his hand, "three months ago?"_

"_No," Ron said quietly, avoiding Harry's eyes, "four months."_

"_Oh, for Merlin's sake!" Harry cried. He picked up an envelope exactly like his own one. "Open this!"_

_Ron took the letter from his hand and opened it, using his wand to get underneath the flap. He pulled out the letter and scanned it with his blue eyes._

"_I passed!" he cried, jumping up and down. "I passed Auror training, Harry! I passed!"_

"_So did I!" Harry shouted. He began jumping up and down too._

"_We're going to be Aurors, we're going to be Aurors!" Both fully-grown men sang as they skipped around Ron's bedroom, throwing mail everywhere. Hermione, unknown to Harry and Ron, opened the bedroom door, surprised by what she saw._

"_I sometimes wonder about you boys," she said as she walked away, shaking her head._

'Those were the days,' Ron thought, as he leaned back in his chair. 'I wonder how long until lunch break?' He glanced at his digital watch: 12:45. 15 minutes until he could go to the canteen. He looked around his, for once, neat desk. He had completed all his paper work and had even tidied out his drawers. He looked around his work place. No one was looking. Ron opened one of his drawers and pulled out two Barbie's, a black-haired one and a red-haired one.

Muttering under his breath, he began a conversation.

"Hey, Ron, guess what? I'm an Auror, because I can run fast!" he said, while shaking the black-haired one.

"Well, guess what, Harry? I'm a better Auror, because I can jump high _and_ run fast!" He shook the red-haired one.

"Wow, all bow to Ron, he is the world's ruler! Yay!" Ron bent the black-haired one over several times, to give the impression of bowing. "Bye now, Ron!"

"Bye, Harry. Oh, look, it's Luna, hey, Luna! Oh, and look! It's a baby Hugo! And, oh no, it's a deformed alien baby! That one must be Harry's, it's name is Albus Severus! Ha, ha!"

"Ron, are you playing with those Barbie dolls again?" a bodiless voice called from nearby.

"No, Harry, of course not," Ron said, blushing. He shoved the dolls back into his drawer. "I'm just … uh, going for lunch now!" Ron bolted from his seat and down to the canteen. Harry walked over to Ron's desk and sat down in the swirley chair. He pulled open the drawer and pulled out the Ron Barbie and the Harry Barbie.

"Hey, Harry, I'm an Auror, what about you?" Harry muttered under his breath.

"Well, Ron, I'm a better Auror because I can jump high and-"

"Harry! Put the Barbie's down!"

"Sorry, Ron."

**Other three stories should be up soon. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Second story in the 'Aurors' thing.**

_Harry woke up at exactly 6.30 am. He showered and dressed quickly and ran down the stairs. He was greeted by his loving wife, Hermione, and a plate of breakfast. After finishing his breakfast, he kissed Hermione on the cheek and left for work._

Harry was bored. He had finished all his paperwork and no bad guys seemed to be doing anything bad today! He had written letters to his two children at Hogwarts and even one to McGonagall, the headmistress! Not that he kept in contact with her, or anything, just because he had nothing better to do.

He watched Ron leave his swirley chair to go and have a break. And then an idea struck him …

Harry crawled through the office, all the way to Ron's desk. This was not far, considering the fact that there were only a few desks between Harry's and Ron's.

Harry pulled open the top drawer on the left hand side. He pulled out six objects and crawled back to his own desk. Sitting up, he wrote out a note onto a piece of parchment.

Ron sat down at his desk after a cup of tea at the canteen. He had nothing else to do so he had a five minute debate with the dinner lady over which was the better meat; pork or beef?

The dinner lady obviously one, because Ron was scared of her.

Looking about at his colleagues a bit, Ron opened up his top left-hand drawer … only to find it empty. Apart from a note …

_Ron,_

_Give me five chocolate frogs or I'll burn your Barbie's and film it and then send it to you so you can watch your Barbie's die._

_Barbienapper _

'Oh, no!' Ron thought frantically. Whatever would he do without his Barbie's?

But who would steal six Barbie dolls? Dean Thomas … no, too football-ish. Seamus Finnegan … too manly … 'did I just think that?' Ron thought … definitely not Harry, he's already got a set … 'I think …' … Malfoy!

Ron marched right up to Malfoy's desk. (Malfoy, for the sake of pissing of Harry and Ron, had also become an Auror, because he had nothing better to do and did not want to sit at home and listen to Pansy all day.)

"Malfoy! How could you! Why would you do such an inhumane act of cruelty?" Ron practically screamed, forgetting the fact that he was shouting about Barbie dolls here.

"Do what, Weasel?" Malfoy drawled. "Burn your Barbie dolls?"

"Ah ha!" Ron shouted, victoriously. "So it is you! Well, let me tell you something Malfoy-"

"No, Weasel, I'm being serious here."

"What-? I see …" Ron was very embarrassed. "Well, I'll just go now …"

Harry laughed. He watched Ron open his top left-hand drawer again. He watched Ron's face distort into one of deep unhappiness as he pulled out a strand of red Barbie doll hair. Harry laughed.

Ron raced down to Honeydukes, in Hogsmeade.

"Five chocolate frogs, please!" he panted.

"Here you are, dearie," the old lady said, "that will be two sickles."

Ron pushed the silver coins into the lady's hand and raced off again, trying to find a safe place to Apparate.

Once he got back to his desk he quickly wrote a note and put it and the five chocolate frogs into his top left drawer. He then stepped back into the shadows, so as to not let the Barbienapper see him.

Harry watched Ron step away and waited for five more seconds before crawling over to Ron's desk. He opened the top left drawer and pulled out the note and the chocolate frogs and then put the Barbie's back in their original place. Before he had time to close the drawer, however, he was interrupted.

"Harry! How could you do that? I would never have believed that you, of all people, would steal my Barbie's!"

"It was for a laugh Ron, didn't you find it funny?"

"No. You know that I'm very close to them Barbie's, and that being away from them for long periods of time makes me nervous!"

"It's Barbie dolls, Ron! They're not real!"

"They are! To me!"

Both men went home, grumpy and not talking to each other.

**First of all, I have no idea how much five chocolate frogs cost. I guessed.**

**And second of all, there are at least two other chapters to this story.**

**and third of all: I want reviews.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Come on, Harry! We were supposed to leave five minutes ago! You know how I hate being late!"

"I'm not going!"

"Why not?"

"Because Ron will be there."

"This is getting childish, Harry!"

"Yeah, Dad, not even I'm that childish, and I'm the child of this family!"

"Just go through to the kitchen, Lily!"

"Even my own daughter ridicules me."

"Just get through there!"

Harry, Hermione and Lily all stood in front of the fireplace. "Go on, Lily," Hermione urged, giving her a handful of Floo powder.

"Uncle Ron's house!" Lily said as she threw the green powder to the ground. The effect was instant and the green flames pushed Lily through to another fireplace.

"Here, Harry."

"Hermione, I told you, I don't want to go!"

"It doesn't matter if you don't want to go or not, we said we'd be there and we will be!" Hermione shoved Harry into the fireplace. She stood in front of it, so as to stop him from running out. His only choice was to Floo away.

Harry fell out of Ron and Luna's fireplace, right into Neville's behind. Neville and Ginny had just Flooed over after Lily and before Harry, and Harry had unfortunately received a face-full of Neville buttocks.

"Oh, Harry, so sorry! Never did get the hang of Flooing," Neville said, brushing himself off.

"It's okay, Neville," Harry replied. He received a manly hug from Neville, just for good times sake. Harry hugged Ginny and then Luna and when he reached Ron, he just glared. Neither men moved, both trying to stare the other out.

"Barbie stealer," Ron muttered.

"At least I don't play with Barbie's at work," Harry replied.

"But you do, don't you, Harry?" Ron said, smirking. "I'm proud to play with Barbie's!"

"Why would you want to play with them at work?" Harry said, his voice rising.

"Guys, stop it!" Ginny said, stepping in between them. "This is so immature."

"Is not!" Harry and Ron both said at the same time.

The group of people all sat down at the table. Luna came through with soup bowls for everyone. Ron and Luna's son, Hugo, sat with Lily. They were discussing the good and the bad points of Barbie's and Ken's.

"My dad has a whole collection of Barbie's."

"So does mine. He doesn't know I know though, but he keeps taking out a different one for every time he tries to make me play with them. There's at least fifty!"

"Whoa! We could sell them in the _Daily Prophet_!"

"You are not selling my Barbie's in the _Prophet_!" Harry and Ron shouted.

"You are grown men! And you're fighting about Barbie's!" Hermione exclaimed, dropping her spoon into her plate.. "Even Lily doesn't want to play with Barbie's, and she's nine years old!"

"She just does not understand the perfection that is the Barbie doll," Ron said. He pulled a princess Barbie out from his pocket. Harry gasped.

"I've been searching for that one everywhere! Where did you get it?" he said, reaching out to stroke the golden hair. Ron let him.

"There was a competition in _Barbie_! I won!"

"Oh, that must have been the issue that James burnt in the fire!"

"Want to go see my full collection again?"

"Yeah! I'll go home and get mine too!"

Hermione and Ginny rolled their eyes. Neville looked on, not sure whether to join them or to stay with the women. He was pulled away by Lily and Hugo, who wanted him to play Wizard's Chess.

Luna looked passive. "I'll unlock the door, Ron," she said, pulling her wand out from her pocket, "but only as a treat."

"Thanks, Luna! I love you!"

"You locked the door so he wouldn't be able to get at his Barbie's?" Hermione asked.

"Yes," Luna replied. "He was spending far too much time in there."

"I should do something like that with Harry."

"Use this spell …"

"I can only thank the Lord that Neville does not like Barbie's," Ginny said, laying her head in her hands.

**So, Barbie's, huh?**

**Fourth one shall be up soon. Then it ends. ENDS!**

**And also a personal note. To my reviewers, Glooberry Glooberry Gumdrops, KalleyB and Leah (not much of a review though, Leah, mong), thank you. I will reply after I post this. Also, thanks to MissWeeks (Erin, in my life) for alerting my story. I loved yours. **

**To my own personal flamer, flatliner15: you make me want to scratch my eyes out with a blunt fork. Fortunately, I have enough self-control not to do that. Also, why do you read my story if you don't like it? Although I'm wasting (note correct spelling) your time, other people seem to enjoy my story. Now stop wasting precious time, resources and air and read a story that is to your obviously very pompous standards.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Last one, kids. Thanks to reviewers and readers and the like.**

Hermione Potter walked into her home after a tiring day at work. She was called in early this morning because of an emergency involving several Hogwarts kids and an exploding cauldron.

"Harry, Lily," she called. "Are you here?"

"We're through here, Hermione!"

Hermione walked on through her house until she came to the lounge. Looking in, she watched as Harry waved a Barbie in Lily's face.

"But, dad, I don't want to play Barbie's!"

"But, Lily! This one is a collector's item!"

"Then why is it out of it's original packaging?"

Harry squealed. "Ach, so it is!" He paused for a moment. "James! I'll have to go write a very nasty letter explaining why leaving my collector's items alone is important," he muttered as he walked away. "Right after I put these away. I'll have to find some more packaging.

"Is this what he always makes you do when I'm at work?" Hermione asked, kneeling beside her daughter.

"Yeah," Lily replied. "Apparently, Action Man is only for boys, but Barbie's are unisex. It's quite scary, actually."

"And that is why I locked his Barbie shrine," Hermione said. Lily laughed. A few moments later they heard a very shrill scream.

"Hermione! Can you come up here for a second?" Harry called. Hermione stood up and grinned at Lily.

"There's some Action Men in Albus' room, I think," she said, winking. Lily snorted.

"He still has them? What a douche!"

"Don't say that about your brother, Lily."

"But, Hermione, that means I've only got one to play with!"

"Isn't that enough, Harry?"

"No! You can't have a tea-party with only one Barbie, Hermione!"

"Goodness, Harry!" Hermione exclaimed. "You are a grown man!"

"What am I supposed to do without my Barbie's, Hermione?" Harry retorted. "Ron's coming over for a tea-party tomorrow!"

"Lily should be the one having tea-parties."

"I hate tea-parties," Lily said, as she passed by.

The next week, Harry came back home from work, looking forward to swapping his Barbie for another. Hermione still wouldn't let him have all his Barbie's at once. He and Ron had been discussing strategies at work. Operation Get-Barbie's-Back-Safely needed a bit of work.

"Hi, Lily," Harry said, as he walked up the stairs and past her room. He moved a few more steps before he walked backwards.

"Lily," he cried, "I thought you didn't like Barbie's?"

"Dad," Lily said, "clearly, this is an Action Man. Barbie's have boobs."

"Lily!" Harry was shocked.

"So, got any of your Barbie's back yet?"

"No, you?"

"None at all, but I think that Lily is lost without them. She's playing with Action Men now."

"Oh, God!"

"I know!"

"You two freaks aren't still talking about Barbie's, are you?"

"Of course not, Malfoy! Why would we?" Harry put on a gruff voice.

"Yeah, we were discussing the latest Quidditch scores!" Ron said, in an equally gruff voice.

"Yeah, I see that the Chudley Cannon's are still at the bottom of the league, eh, Weasel-Bee?" Malfoy smirked at Ron's reddening face.

"Ha, ha, Ron!"

"Shut up, Harry! God, just because your jealous that I have that one-of-a-kind Barbie doll!"

"I am not jealous! I simply-"

Malfoy walked away, laughing. In the background, he heard Harry and Ron fighting with each other. And then they were discussing some plan to save their Barbie's.

"Douches," he muttered.

On Saturday morning, Ron Flooed over to Harry's with Hugo. Harry and Ron were taking them on a surprise trip.

"Hello, Uncle Ron!"

"Hello, Lily," Ron said. "Ready for the 'secret trip'?"

"Yeah!"

Lily and Hugo began small-talking and Ron lost interest - as soon as they started. Children always talked about trivial things, like-

"Ron! Did you see that new Barbie?"

"Yeah, Harry, I sure did! Gonna get it today?"

"Definitely! Come on, kids, lets go!"

The four Flooed over to the Leaky Cauldron, where they continued out the door and through to Muggle London. They got a bus to one of the big shopping centres. Harry and Ron manoeuvred Lily and Hugo (respectively) through the large Saturday crowds until they reached the large toy store, Toys 'R' Us. Lily and Hugo looked up in disgust.

"Eugh," Lily said, "this is already torture, and we're not even in the shop yet."

"Lily!" Harry said.

Ron just shook his head. "This is gonna be a lot of work," he muttered, "come on, lets go see if any new Barbies are in stock!"

Harry and Ron pushed their children through the groups of children, until they reached the back of the shop - the Barbie area. In front of them was a giant display of the latest Barbie - Barbie Chan. Well, it was giant. Now there was only one left. And some little girl was going straight for it!

"Wait! That is ours!" Harry said, lunging for the Barbie.

"But you're an old man!"

"Am not! I'm only 37!"

"Old!"

"Jessie, what are you screaming at?" the little girls mother stepped forward, behind her daughter. "Oh," she said, when she noticed Harry and Ron. "Are your daughters Barbie-mad too?"

"No," Ron said, "I don't even have a daughter. I'm the Barb-"

"Ron!" Harry said, realizing for the first time in his life that liking Barbies was a _little _odd. "Yes, but it's my daughter. Lily?" He beckoned Lily, who was looking at something about wrestling with Hugo. "She really wants that Barbie doll."

"Oh, so does my daughter!" the lady said, with a poisonous smile.

"Yes, dad?" Lily said.

"Tell this lady about your Barbie collection," he said, gesturing to the lady.

"What Barbie collection?"

"Remember? The one that you want to complete with that Barbie, which is the reason that that little girl doesn't deserve it?" Harry said. Ron was nodding eagerly behind Harrys back.

"I'll buy you that wrestling thing if you agree with me!" Harry muttered, so the lady couldn't see.

"Do you like Barbies?" the lady asked Lily, kneeling down to her height.

Lily paused, and looked behind the womans back. Harry had picked up the Barbie Chan, and Ron had coaxed Hugo away with one of the wrestling games. She laughed.

"What?" the woman turned around wildly, just in time to see Harry and Rons attempt to run away with the Barbie doll. "Stop right there!" she screamed, lunging onto Harrys back. It suddenly got out of control, where Harry, Ron and the woman were all rolling down one of the isles, right into-

"You are a disgrace! You are an adult, and suddenly you are running around shops, knocking over very breakable displays!" Hermione Potter was at her angriest. Harry Potter cowered in his chair. Lily Potter laughed behind her fathers back.

"And that is why I do not immerse myself into the world of Barbies."

**And that is the end. See you soon!**


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